Twas' two days after Christmas and all through the house, all people were moving including the mouse.  Exchanges were made and thank you's were said in hopes of avoiding a mess.
Hurt feelings were spared and graciousness shared all for the sake of the cause.
The cause is of peace and peace is of God so let the season of peace rest in your heart.

Merry Christmas!

Melissa

Christmas is less than a week away and I’m already looking beyond the holiday to the year ahead.  Clients of mine have been through very rough sledding this last year, due in part to the perilous economic times we live in.  Jobs are in short supply, and good jobs seem to be almost non-existent.  However, Christmas provides a good environment for perspective.  The man Jesus came to this earth in dire economic times, to a family extremely poor with no hope of any dramatic improvement in their circumstances.  He was born in a stable… with neither position nor influence that would allow them to enjoy anything close to being in an adequate environment for the birth of a child.  And his life after he was born was immediately in danger from a madman who governed the land in which he was born.  Perilous times indeed!

But the Good News of Christ’s birth still speaks to our hearts even two millennia after the actual event.  Out of desperation comes hope; out of discouragement comes wonder; and out of confusion comes wisdom.  Regardless of your circumstances this Christmas season, Jesus still provides us with perspective.  He still calls us to a life of faith, hope, and love, and His birth is the most poignant reminder of God’s overwhelming love for us.  And, all believers still exclaim along with the Apostle Peter, “Where else can we go?  You have the words of eternal life!”  So here’s to a Christmas where our thoughts are turned from ourselves and our own personal problems and predicaments, to the recounting of God’s blessings and a view ahead to the hope He alone can give us.  May you enjoy a Christmas with a view to eternity, and be reminded not only of the wisdom of Jesus, but also of the loving sacrifice He was for us all.  Merry Christmas!

Jim

Consider the expectation of two couples at different stages in their relationship.

Couple A, together for six months, drip with affection as they dream of a lifetime together. When asked Do you think it will ever be difficult to love each other? they looked perplexed, perhaps even offended. Are you kidding? We're in love. Nothing could be easier.

Couple B has been married for a while. Over the years, they have become adept at managing the business-of-life. But now they're partners more than lovers, bored in their familiarity. They wonder what happened. Why doesn't love seem natural anymore?

Why the change? Does love come with ease, or with effort?

It comes with both. The beginning of a relationship seems easy because powerful attraction-forces are working in overdrive. (Remember when it took more effort to stay apart than to stay together?) It feels like magic--the inspiration for countless music and movie romances. But real intimacy is only discovered when we move beyond that initial connection to something deeper. And getting there requires a willingness to work.

What if you don't feel like working at it? What if you just want love to be easy? Then here's what you're likely to end up with in your marriage: efficiency without intimacy. You and your spouse can organize your expectations and efforts in such a way that you give proper attention to all required duties (bills, schedules, work, house, children, etc.) while seldom connecting on an emotional level. This is the result of just continuing to do "what comes naturally" in your marriage.

Do you want something more? Stop hoping for magic. You have to work at being intentionally intimate.

Let me suggest just a few things to get you started...

1. Risk honesty. Tell your spouse you want something more in your marriage. Be careful to describe the relationship you desire rather than focusing on the current disappointments of your marriage. Don't insist on change (the surest way of not getting it). Instead, open a door of invitation and let them know you'd like them to join you.
2. Focus on your change. You probably have no problem identifying all the way you spouse disappoints you. But you really have no power to change him/her. You can only be responsible for what you do. So spend some time figuring out ways you can more effectively move toward your spouse in ways they appreciate, and then work on doing those things. Even if your spouse's reactions disappoint you at first, determine to keep making the effort. If you're not sure what to do, try using an Emotional Needs Assessment tool to help you establish some goals.
3. Offer complements more than criticism. How do you react when someone criticises you? Does it make you want to change? Probably not. Criticism won't change your spouse, either. You can be honest about your hurts and disappointments, but spend more energy pointing out what they get right rather than what they get wrong.

Beginning love is like swimming in the shallow water of the ocean. It's easy, safe, fun, and splashy. But those who find the treasures are the ones who make the effort to dive deep. So, take a deep breath...

I had the privilege of seeing my two-month old granddaughter for the first time yesterday.  Charlotte Jane Keller came into this world in February of 2010 and we had our first conversation last night.  She, of course, spoke in her own language, which was rich in coo’s and ahh’s and lavished with wonderful smiles.  I asked her how her life was going so far and she responded by saying that up to this point, not bad.  Her parents were decent folks, and her big sister was definitely “coo”-l. 

I am reminded in looking into Charlotte’s eyes for the first time how our decisions affect future generations.  I met Charlotte’s grandmother in 1975 and we were married eleven months later.  Our son, Christopher, was born 10 months after we were married (great planning on our parts!) and we were off and running trying to be a family that would be a safe and loving place for one and all.  Those 34 years were full of adventure, tears, fun and drama.  But I decided to love a woman that would be my wife.  And we decided to love our children as best we could and through trial and error were able to see our two children grow to be adults and have loving families of their own. 

The course of our lives are driven by our decisions.  And seemingly small and what seems to be minor decisions can have a major impact on the direction of our lives.  Seeing Charlotte was a reminder that each decision that I make is an important one and that it affects lives other than my own.  Charlotte’s very existence stems from a decision that I made 34 years ago. 

In seeing my new granddaughter for the first time, I am reminded that we need to weigh our decisions carefully and understand that each one affects the course of our lives.  And, we need to realize that those decisions become our legacy.

Jim

The parable of the Prodigal Son is echoing through my head quite a bit lately.  It is the most famous of all Jesus’ parables, and it is replete with principles that govern relationships.  The striking thing to me is that the title of the parable, given by scholars over the centuries of Christendom, is a misnomer.  It should be titled “The Parable of the Unforgiving Elder Son.”  While that is a bit less flashy, it is more to the point that Jesus was teaching: namely, we cannot live well in this world if we continually are comparing our lives to others’. 

I realize this is the most natural of human reactions, this thing we call comparison.  “That’s not fair!” is a statement learned early on in life.  One of the great lessons Jesus is teaching is that we cannot live our lives based on what happens to others.  Jesus responds to Peter at the end of John’s gospel that John’s story is not his.  “What is that to you?”  In other words, quit looking around and comparing your story to what others are going through.   

The older son is caught up in the “life’s not fair” syndrome, but that comes from comparing our lives to others’ rather than looking at the One whom we celebrate this Easter season.  Let’s live our lives focused on Him who sacrificed Himself for us.  Then forgiveness and love will flow naturally out of our lives as an act of love to our Lord who loves us no matter what.

Jim