Fighting for Your Marriage All By Yourself
It is a difficult and lonely place to be, to work on a marriage (or any relationship) when the other has no interest in counseling, marriage seminars, relationship books, or...
Stuck in an Affair
John is stuck between his loyalty to his wife and his love for another woman. For the past few weeks, he’s been vacillating between them, hoping for a clear indication...
“You Make Me So Mad!”
Who or what gets you angry? As you do an inventory, let me give you some of my biggest pet peeves. First, ridiculous traffic light sequences make me angry. We...
When You’d Rather Punish Than Pardon
Think about a time when you were deeply hurt by someone you loved. At the moment you first became aware of the offense, what was your response? Were you able...
Selfish Apologies: Saying “I’m sorry” for your relief, not theirs
We accept the belief that forgiveness is a necessary component of a healthy, satisfying relationship. But if that's true, why don't apologies always work? Why are offended people still unsatisfied...
Withdrawing – What is that Communicating?
One of the first things I remember learning in my training as Marriage and Family Therapist is this fact from communication theory: “One cannot NOT communicate.” The communication axiom, “One...
Think Less About My Marriage?
When we are in a place of marital distress, there are several natural responses that may be working against us. One of those responses is to spend every waking (and...
Breaking Through Walls
It is almost as if I can see the walls between some couples when they come in for the first session. I can actually feel not only the distance, but...
Your First Child Will Change Your Marriage
Two-thirds of couples report significant decrease in their relationship satisfaction following the birth of their first child. This is due to a combination of tiredness, depression, and loss of romance....
Conflict Resolution
I don’t know of anyone that actually likes conflict. I certainly know some who do better at it than others… like my wife, for instance! It’s not that she can...