In this line of work I read and recommend a lot of different books covering a variety of different issues. There is one book that I have found myself referring to a lot lately by Brene Brown, “The Gifts of Imperfection.” Quite frankly, it is pretty great. In a clear and easy to read way, Brene asks us to own our story, to stop beating up on ourselves, and waiting to love who when are “when”. You are familiar with the burdensome “WHEN”. It goes like this, “I’ll be happy WHEN…” “I’ll love myself WHEN…” “I’ll relax WHEN…” and then the list follows. The problem is that this burdensome list is neverending. For example, 10 pounds turns to 15, always follwoed by another task. We will always fail at something.
The trick is to learn, somehow, to embrace yourself NOW. Face yourself and all your imperfections and accept it all while expecting others to do the same. Then you are no longer striving to be accepted and loved, you are simply striving to be the best version of you. The difference is astonishing. Striving to be loved has a panic feeling attached to it, hurry up or they may not love you anymore. Don’t mess up or it’s all over. Striving to be the best version of you allows for mistakes and failures along the way. It has a pace that is do-able and even fun. Sure its easier said than done, but starting the journey towards acceptance is far better than staying in the cycle of “when’s”.