“When is enough, enough?”
“How will I know if I’m making the right decision?”
These questions have shown up a lot with clients as of late. Whether it be to stay in a situation that isn’t working any longer like a relationship or a job, or choosing to leave, the feelings are the same. They want to know if they are making the right decision, so they have spent numerous hours weighing their options and flushing out emotions that accompany the pros and cons list they often form in their head.
There’s no doubt about it, change is scary. It is scary to let go of what is familiar-even if it is hurting us or it is not working for us any longer. The scary can often feel paralyzing, thus preventing us from hearing our own inner guidance. Making a decision while in this place feels daunting, too risky, and sometimes overwhelming. In moments such as these staying with the familiar might feel like the best choice for us, but have you noticed that the familiar creates only the illusion of safety and security? We say to ourselves we are staying because we know what to expect, yet at what cost? Little by little the fear of making the right choice chips away at our spirit and unconsciously we make the decision to not make a decision. That fear disconnects us from ourselves and often we are left feeling lonely, sad, frustrated, and deflated.
During these times it can be difficult to make a decision, to know what is in our best interest let alone to do what is in our best interest. Are we acting out of a place of fear or are we trusting in God’s plan for us? If you find yourself in this place, be honest about where you are and what you are feeling. It takes real courage to be honest about where you are. I also encourage you to journal, talk with a trusted friend, family member or therapist. Often times we just need to get these thoughts out of our heads and to be heard. Also, allow yourself the space to feel. Acknowledging our emotions honors them and frees our mind to think more clearly. Sharing what is in our hearts helps remind us that we are not alone in this process. Lastly, pray. Talk with God about what you are experiencing. Ask Him to help guide you and comfort you. The answers to your questions will come.