“I know what I need to do, I just don’t want to do it”
This is the theme I’ve been hearing from a number of clients lately. Much time and many tears have been spent digging deep, finding insight into their behaviors and thought processes and reconciling the past. They’ve taken a step back and the picture has been brought into focus. Usually about this time they realize there are changes that need to be made in the way they do life. Sometimes they are tiny adjustments that are easy and thus immediately fulfilling; more often than not, however, these changes are hard. Old patterns of behaving and thinking have to be dug up by the root and a new pattern set in its place. The changes are hard because usually they are a complete 180 degree turn from what we would “usually” do. Our emotions, mind and bodies are telling us to do what we know is “safe”. Nevermind that we have been unhappy with the outcome of our lives when we do what we usually do. At least the outcome is predictable. We may be in misery but it is well known and well loved misery. This other path? Who knows where it may lead us? It is unknown, and therefore frightening. And so change is delayed; sometimes by weeks, sometimes by months, and sometimes by years. I’ve watched people busy themselves in the trappings of life to avoid changing. Others will create chaos around them so they do not have the energy to change. They are busy surviving. Still others will avoid it, preferring to float along in life blissfully unaware of what is brewing beneath the surface.
Please don’t get me wrong, these changes are hard. It takes courage to hold up the mirror and be honest about what you see, and even more courage to take full responsibility and do something about it. But it is extremely rewarding. It is living purposefully and mindfully, and as you leave the comfort of the known, and overcome fear, your character becomes further molded by the conflict taking place.